Epiphany

I had an epiphany last night.

First, I must give you some background to this story. I'm in the habit of having a mini-meltdown the day I play a show. I freak out about how I haven't practiced, how I'm going to be horrible and make a fool of myself ... even if I know that only five people will show up. Such was the case at my Stetson Station shows - where the only people who saw the whole thing were the employees, my boyfriend, and my good friend Amanda - and at my 169 Bar show. (For the Wicked Willy's show, I was too focused on getting my keyboard to the venue to freak out.) Last time this happened, I complained to Dan, "I hate how I fall to pieces before every show." "Then don't!" he replied.

The logical antidote would to be more prepared, yet I've barely practiced in weeks. I meant to squeeze in some last-minute practicing last night, but I was exhausted and went to bed instead. And yet, in my dark cozy cave of a room so conducive to sleep, I couldn't fall into it. My mind was racing thinking about the show I would play tonight, but not in the typical nervous pattern - in an excited one.

It's usually nearly impossible for me to get out of bed in the morning - I have to set one alarm by my bed and one down underneath the loft, otherwise the artificial darkness overpowers my will to start the day.

This morning, I was so stoked for my show that I woke up before my alarm.

I think you can guess what the epiphany was.

A New Start

What a wonderful birthday present.

The past two months have gone by in a blur. I was working too much at a job that sucked out my time and energy (Starbucks), living in a creepy area an hour away from everything, and unable to play many open mics because I was under 21.

I have free time now, and I live in a great new area. I walked home from my voice lesson today! Living in Hell's Kitchen (terrible name, great neighborhood) makes New York City feel like a huge college campus. There's so much to do, and much of it is within walking distance.

I'm moved in to my new apartment - my bedroom is basically a walk in closet in a 5th floor walkup (meaning there's no elevator), but for some reason I love it. It's cozy and has charm. Here are some pictures.

Living Room:





Kitchen:






My Room:









It feels like getting to start over. I'm riding an energy high from having Dan here, and I feel like this is going to be a great, productive week.